A Painful Realization
by shana852963
Summary: It has been years since Fred Weasley died a hero in the Battle of Hogwarts. Ever since his brother's death, George has been bearing the pain of losing not only his brother, but a part of him, and has been wondering just how long that anguish will last. Finally, he makes a realization: the pain will never go away. Ever.


**AN: **

**School: Durmstrang**

**Year: Six**

**Theme: Cruciatus**

**Prompts: 7. Dementor (main prompt), 3. Invisibility Cloak 5. "I'm your wife, I'm the greatest good you'll ever have." **

**Word Count: 2857**

* * *

"I don't think this is going to be fixed," Ginny sighed, sticking her wand back in her pocket as she stared at the remains of the goblin-made vase that were scattered across the living room floor of the Burrow. She turned to her mother. "I'm sorry, mum."

"Oh, don't you worry, it's only a vase," Molly said, waving her hand dismissively. "Fred and James didn't mean to break it; they were only playing."

"Shame you didn't have such a lax outlook on these sorts of things when we were growing up," George said from the couch, where he was currently feeding a bottle to his infant daughter, Roxanne. "Could have saved you a lot of stress. I remember the time Fred and I broke one of your good plates…"

"Yes, well, you'll see one day that your tolerance for what your grandchildren do is much higher than it was for what your children did," Molly said, stepping over to the small cot set up in the corner of the room, where Lily was fast asleep. She turned back to Ginny. "How much longer do you think it will be until Harry gets off from work? I'll go put a warming charm on the roast if he'll be much longer."

"I don't know when exactly he'll be back," Ginny said. "He was going to one of the islands today. He never can tell how long that will take."

"Islands?" George repeated.

"The islands surrounding Azkaban," Ginny explained. "When the Ministry decided to stop having the Dementors guard the prison, they had to put them somewhere, didn't they? You can't have them roaming around free. So they were moved to a group of islands nearby. One of the Aurors has to go once a month to make sure everything's alright."

Right on cue, the fireplace in the living room sprung to life. Green flames erupted, and a moment later, Harry tumbled out onto the rug, wiping soot from his robes.

"Oh good, you're back," Molly said, stepping over to her son-in-law. She pulled her wand from her pocket and pointed it at Harry, causing the remaining soot to vanish.

"Hi Molly," Harry said, his voice noticeably flatter than usual.

"How was it today?" Ginny asked gently.

"Just as terrible as usual," Harry muttered, setting his bag down on the nearby chair.

"Here," Molly said, flicking her wand towards the kitchen. A chocolate bar came zooming right into her hand. She handed it to Harry. "Eat this."

"Thanks," Harry said, opening up the chocolate and taking a small bite. He stepped over to the cot and looked down at Lily, a small smile finally coming across her face.

"She tried to sit up today, you know," Ginny told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Did she?" Harry said, impressed. "Wow, she'll beat her brothers at that, won't she?"

"Looks like it," Ginny chuckled. "I think the only thing stopping her from doing to today was you not being there. She probably didn't want you to miss the moment."

"How thoughtful of her," Harry laughed.

At the sound of her father's laugher, Lily's dark eyes flew open. She looked up at Harry and let out several soft coos and held her arms up towards him.

"Hi, Lil Bud," Harry whispered, gently reaching down and picking her up. "Missed you like mad today."

Lily pulled at Harry's bangs, smiling at him affectionately. She then spotted Roxanne laying in George's arms. She reached towards her and began babbling excitedly. Roxanne pushed the bottle George had been feeding her away from her mouth and smiled back at Lily.

"Looks like they want to play," George commented, sitting Roxanne down by a pile of toys that had be laid out on a large blanket.

"Reckon you're right," Harry nodded, setting Lily down as well.

"Are you feeling better now?" Ginny asked her husband as they watched the children.

"Yes," Harry nodded. "Being around you and the kids tends to work even better than chocolate after dealing with those bloody Dementors. Luckily, I shouldn't be called to check on the islands for at least another six months now."

"Ginny was telling us those islands are around Azkaban, right?" George asked. "So right in the middle of the North Sea then?"

"That's right," Harry nodded. "They're just far enough away from the prison so that the Dementors can't feed off of the souls of the prisoners."

"Can't they just, you know, float over to the prison?" George asked.

"Hmm? Oh, no," Harry said. "There are quite a few protections around the islands. Only Ministry officials can pass through them."

"Ah, so I'm guessing you need a special spell or something?"

"No, the Auror badges have charms placed on them that allow us to get through to the island," Harry explained.

"Why are you so interested all of the sudden?" Ginny asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just curious," George said quickly.

"Where are James and Albus?" Harry asked, turning back to Ginny.

"Outside," Ginny replied. "Angelina is showing them a few moves on her broomstick. Teddy came with us here as well. I'm sure they'll all be excited to see you."

"Brilliant," Harry said. "Surprised you're not out there on your broom as well."

"Well someone had to watch Lily," Ginny said.

"Oh, you go on," Molly said. "I'll watch these two here. Dinner will be ready shortly, though."

"Thanks, mum," Ginny said, taking Harry's hand to lead him outside. "You want to come out too, George?"

"Wish I could, but I've got to run to the shop," George said, getting to his feet.

"What? But what about dinner?" Molly frowned, disappointed.

"Sorry, but I've got to get some inventory done," George said. "With the Hogwarts lot heading back to school soon, we've gone through most of our stock. Mind sending me a doggy bag home with Angelina?"

"Yes, of course," Molly nodded. "You make sure you don't work yourself too hard, dear."

"Don't ever have to worry about that," George smiled, giving Roxanne a quick peck on her head.

"I'll go start washing these two up for dinner," Molly said, picking up both infants in her arms and bustling off towards the kitchen.

George watched his mother disappear from the room before quickly stepping over to Harry's discarded bag. He carefully fished out his Auror badge, along with his Invisibility Cloak, before pulling out his own wand and disapparating from the Burrow.

* * *

After several attempts, George finally found himself in what he concluded to be his correct destination. He had apparated onto a large rock structure in the middle of the North Sea. Sea water sprayed his face as he stared out into the open. Several miles in the distance, he could see the faint outline of the building he knew to be Azkaban. All around the area were small islands, many of which were hardly larger in area than the land surrounding the Burrow.

George took a deep breath before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, toy row-boat that fit perfectly in his palm. He set it down and pointed his wand to it.

"_Engorgio_," he whispered. At once, the boat grew to full-size. He levitated the boat down into the water as he climbed down the rock. When he reached the bottom, he climbed into the boat and pointed his wand to the nearest island. At once, the boat began moving slowly towards its destination.

The sea was choppy, and George was sure that if he didn't have multiple magical charms on his boat, he'd have toppled over into the cold water right away. Luckily, he reached the island without incident. He stepped out of the boat and onto the dark, stone pebbles that covered the island. As soon as he stepped onto the island, George felt as though he had been hit square in his chest by a bludger. His whole body began to shake and be could see his own breath as he breathed heavily. He took a step forward but was instantly knocked backwards by an invisible barrier: it was the protection that Harry had told him about.

George scrambled to his feet and fumbled through his bag and pulled out Harry's Auror badge. He held it up, and began walking again, this time having no problem crossing through the barrier. After a few steps, George put the badge away and drew the Invisibility Cloak from the bag and draped it over himself.

_Okay, _George thought to himself. _Where the bloody hell are these things?_

George didn't have to wait long for his question to be answered. He turned to his right and saw at least a dozen cloaked figures floating towards him, their arms outstretched, showing their skeleton-like arms. George frowned. The Dementors seemed to be coming right towards him; were they able to see through the cloak?

He had hoped he'd have at least a few moments to prepare, but it didn't look like he'd have that option. The Dementors were getting closer and closer. George pulled out his wand and clenched his eyes shut as he willed himself to think of his family. He tried to picture the spark in little Fred's eyes when he had taken him for a ride on his broomstick; of the soft laughs Roxy would always give him when he tickled her tiny feet; of the way it felt when he held Angelina close to him…

"_Expecto Patronum!_" George cried desperately. He had hoped that he'd see his Patronus shoot from his wand, but nothing happened. He opened his mouth to try one more time, but before he could utter the incantation, George began to feel faint. Suddenly, the images of his children and Angelina were replaced by a voice in his head.

_"George," _he heard Percy's voice echo inside his head. _"George, I-I'm so sorry…Fred-Fred he's-he-"_

And then he heard a series of heart-wrenching sobs that he recognized to be his mother's.

_"George_," his father's voice sounded. _"George, he's gone. George, let him go; you need to let him go!" _

And then the voices vanished, but just as quickly as they disappeared, images began to take their places. Images that seemed so clear it was as though George had been transported from the island.

He was standing in the middle of the Great Hall, out of breath from fighting. Everyone was beginning to file into the hall; Voldemort had called for a time-out, and this seemed to be the unspoken location for reunions, as well as the spot where the fallen were being placed. He saw his mother and father file in, comforting a few students along the way. Then he saw Charlie, wiping blood from his brow, but otherwise unscathed. And then…

Percy staggered into the hall, sobbing heavily. At first, George couldn't see what it was that Percy was lugging in his arms, but as he came closer, George could see clearly. Fred was laying in Percy's arms. His eyes had been brushed shut, but a faint smile was still etched upon his lifeless face. And just like that, George felt his knees buckle, and he fell down to the ground, letting out an unhinged cry of pain.

"Fred!" George yelled, even as the Great Hall disappeared from around him. "Fred! Fred!"

A cold breath on his face brought George back to reality. He realized that the Dementors had moved in close enough that they could touch him. He stumbled back just as the nearest one reached to grab the cloak in its bony hand.

George mustered up all of his strength and forced his legs to run as fast as he could back to the boat. As he passed through the barrier, the Dementors could only watch him as he jumped back onto the boat and began to sail off.

George pulled the cloak off, his whole body was shaking like mad, and even though he was safely in the boat, he felt as though he had been lurched overboard into the freezing sea. He didn't know how long he sat in that boat, floating aimlessly around the North Sea. It must have been hours, though, for by the time he felt he had enough strength in him to apparate back home, the sun had long since set, and the moon was high in the dark sky.

When he was finally able to apparate back to his home, he was unsurprised, and a bit grateful, to find the place quiet and still. He looked at his watch and saw that it was well past midnight. He let out another long breath as he collapsed down onto the couch. He knew that he should go up to Angelina. There would be no way that she would have bought his excuse of having to go do inventory in the shop; the couple had spent the previous evening doing that task. She was bound to be worried about where he had been. Yet instead of getting up and going upstairs, George found himself covering his body up with the Invisibility Cloak once more, as to truly disappear from the world.

_After all these years_…George thought to himself, closing his eyes. _I still can't do it…But __**why**__?_

"George?"

George's eyes flew open and he saw Angelina walking into the room. She seemed to be staring right at him.

"George, are you here?"

"Hi," George said softly, pulling off the cloak.

"Is that Harry's?" Angelina asked.

"Yeah, um, I borrowed it," George nodded. "I'll slip it back to him tomorrow."

"Ah, so I take it you 'borrowed' it without his permission then?" Angelina asked.

George didn't reply.  
"Well, are you going to tell me where you really went off to?" Angelina asked, sitting down next to him. She frowned as she studied her husband. "Are you alright?"

"Not really," George sighed.

Angelina reached out to touch his shoulder. "George, you're freezing! _Where _did you go?"

"North Sea," George replied.  
"_What_?"

"Went to go see the Dementors," George muttered. "They're on the islands surrounding Azkaban now."

"You-What-Why on earth would you do that?" Angelina exclaimed, trying her best to keep her voice down. "Do you have any idea how _dangerous _that is? How did you even-"

"Nicked Harry's badge as well," George explained.

"I-Again, _why _did you feel the need to go visit those things?" Angelina asked.

George shrugged.  
"George…oh, you clearly need to talk to me," Angelina said gently. "Please? What's going on?"

"I don't think you'd understand," George said heavily. "I don't think it'd do any good to-"

"George, I'm your wife," Angelina said firmly. "I'm the greatest good you'll ever have. Talk to me. Trust me, I'll understand."

George waited a moment. "I wanted to see if I could handle them," he finally admitted. "The Dementors. I-I wanted to see if I could make a bloody Patronus."

Angelina nodded. "You haven't been able to make one since-"

"Since Fred died," George finished for her. "But…Harry came back from the islands today and-and he said that thinking of Ginny and his kids was how he copes with the Dementors when he has to face them. And-And…I don't get it, Ang. I'm _happy_."

"I know you are," Angelina said at once. "But-"

"But that wasn't enough!" George continued. "I went to the island with all of those damn Dementors and I thought of you and the kids and-and still I couldn't make a Patronus! I still wound up-I still saw him! I still saw his dead body being dragged into the Great Hall during the war!"

He let out a sob as he buried his face in his hands.

"George…I-You can't hold that against yourself," Angelina told him. "You and Fred…well, close would be an understatement. You were a part of each other. Of course you still miss him-"

"I know I still miss him!" George said. "We all do! But even mum-mum can still make a Patronus. It's like I-I can't fully move on. I have everything I could ever want! You and the kids are the best things in my life, but-but still, even though I'm so happy with all of us, it's like there's always this-this pain because he's not here. And-And I thought it'd go away eventually, Ang, but-but it hasn't! It's been seven years and I'm still not over Fred's death! And at this point I-I don't think I'm ever going to be!"

Angelina didn't respond, feeling tears well in her own eyes as she watched her husband break down. She simply took his hands and squeezed them as she let George cry into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," George said after several moments. "I-I love you, I really do. Without you and the kids, I-I don't even want to think about it."

"I know," Angelina said, kissing his temple. "I understand. Well, I-I can never understand what you're feeling…Like I said, you and Fred had such a bond…but-but I know that it's hard. I know that it will always be hard, unfortunately. But I'll always be here. You don't have to worry about that."

"Thank you," George whispered, as tears continued to fall from his eyes.


End file.
